Being an Adult. Adulting. The thing we don't want to do.

This is pretty much how I've felt lately.

What is "adult."

I do everything one of them is supposed to do.

Laundry, dishes, changing diapers.... but still. I dance around the house like a moron and chase my daughter for over an hour to give her kisses. I like to play and have fun and do things on a whim. I don't like driving-it makes me panic. 

Like hey there, driving instructor, before you give me my test, do you mind if I take five Xanax? That doesn't sound very adult-like.

How does one "adult?" Because I'm lost here. Do I wear a suit? Do I stop watching Spongebob and going out places in my pajamas? Do I stop wanting to have fun? Do I start looking for some corporate job that makes me miserable just to prove that I can be an adultier-adult?
So yes, I'm looking for an easier job. That way when I come home to my daughter I'm not frustrated or exhausted? I love to see her and play with her and have fun. And I don't want a super serious job that will prevent me from going to school.
I guess growing up and being an adult are two separate things. Because I grew up when I had my daughter.
So did my husband. But on the inside? We're both still kids.

Being a Parent

Being a parent means waking up at 6a.m.
Being a parent means waking up at 6 a.m. to a smiling face saying "mama."

Being a parent means being scared.
Being a parent means being scared when you find a new mark, scratch, or even hear a cry.

Being a parent means letting go.
Being a parent means letting go of your old life in favor of spending a day with a laughing baby,

Being a parent means being nervous.
Being a parent means being nervous that you may not be doing everything right for the person you love most.

Being a parent means giving your heart.
Being a parent means giving your heart-your whole heart-to a person you learn new things about every day.

Being a parent means feeling stressed.
Being a parent means feeling stressed because you need to make more money, but that means more time away from your baby.

Being a parent means being in pain.
Being a parent means being in pain any time your baby cries, or gets her heart broken.

Being a parent means losing out.
Being a parent means losing out on sleep when your baby needs someone to hold her while shes sick.

Being a parent means means understanding.
Being a parent means understanding that nothing is going to work out exactly how you want it to-and that's okay.

Being a parent means being frustrated.
Being a parent means being frustrated when you have to put the toys/stroller/swing together and you can't figure it out because the directions are all really bad pictures.

Being a parent means biting your tongue.
Being a parent means biting your tongue when other people criticize your parenting methods.

Being a parent isn't easy, but I wouldn't  have it any other way.