If after that last post, I need to recover.
To be honest: I'm fine.
I'm better than I have been in so long. I feel like this giant weight has been lifted off my chest and now I can finally be myself. I can breathe. I can dance, sing obnoxiously, and dress the way I want without thinking:
"Will someone take this the wrong way?"
Umm.....Who cares? Seriously. If you don't like my wildly obnoxious dancing and singing, close your eyes. I want to live my life, not worry about offending your delicate sensibilities.
"Will someone want to hurt me again?"
I'm not going to dress provocatively, but I'm also not going to hide myself because some guy who has no self-control might want to take advantage of me. I can protect myself. If I can't? I have a husband who would happily teach said perv some manners.
"Will he find me?"
I'm not going to lie, I have absolutely no idea how I would react if I saw my rapist again. But why should I have to live my life in fear of a low-life coward who does something that deplorable to an 18 year old girl? I refuse to live in fear. I refuse to be scared of him. If I ever see him again, I'll deal with it then and there.
I'm free. I don't need to worry that something bad will eventually happen. I have my friends and family, my husband and my daughter. I have a support system. I have a way to cope. So many people who read my post just showed love. Told me they were proud of how strong I'd been going through this. I was shocked, to say the least. I didn't know I had all that love out there, waiting for me to just open up about my life.
I feel liberated. I know you guys will hold me if I fall, and I also have the confidence to know I can stand on my own two feet. It's an amazing feeling.
I also know now that I can be a strong, confident individual that my daughter can look up too.
More later....
Xoxo,
MamaWolf
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| I'll be alright. |
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| We'll be alright. |
